Renaissance

I see my footprints here, covered in a layer of dust, that softly billows into the air I as close the door behind me. It has been a long time since I have been here. I guess that is a benefit, as I can write in piece and really have only myself as an audience.


I went and saw Harry Potter yesterday with an old friend. The first ten minutes of the film seemed unreal to me, somehow none of it made sense, I realized why. This is the first time seeing this film with out Laura. There was no one to get excited as the intro music started, no one to grab my arm at the scary parts, no one bother me to get pop-corn in the middle of the film. Somehow the temperature in the theater was colder than it used to be.It has been a little more than a year since we have been apart. Being at this film reminded me how much I still have to go to fully recover from her leaving me. I tried to get into the mood of the film and enjoy it, like I used to, but the moments I could, were fleeting. My friend next to me was one of my best friends before I moved to Los Angeles. However, I strongly feel those times are at an end, he lives on pills snorts heroine and whatever he can stitch into his soul. When we hang out I spend my time watching him lapse in and out of reality. He was someone who was intellectually stimulating to be around, now just a scarecrow divested of all qualities good in men. I feel myself severing the bond slowly strand by strand, like most of the people I know back here, just shadows.

However, despite all that I am happy with my life and the choices I made, even the choice to come back to Ohio. I am into my second semester of school now, my GPA is currently 3.9 and I am maintaining an A average in both of my classes currently. Ohio, while depressing at times, does have its grandeur. You do not have to wait in line everywhere you go, or sit in murder yourself traffic. Everything is green and smells fresh. There is peace in the serenity. One just has to look for it. I have been working for a friend doing landscaping. I enjoy working outside, I have lost a lot of weight working outside, coupled with the fact that I am in the gym every night I have lost even more. If you knew me four months ago, you would not recognize me.

I will graduate in September of next year with my Associates in business. Now business is not my major, I will have more credits to transfer to the university ( so says my enrollment councilor). After obtaining my two year degree, I will move out of Ohio and into Los Angeles again to continue my Bachelors degree. When I graduate and hold my degree in my hand, it will be the base from which all my great accomplishments grow from. After graduation I'll move to Europe and teach out there for six years or so, by that time I will have achieved my Master's and be working towards my PhD.

I have so much control over my life now, it humbles me to think how much I could have gained had I mastered my emotions while I was younger. No regrets though, it has made me into the man I am now.

I will leave on something philosophic.

Socrates "It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"


Socrates will be pleased to know, not only am I strengthening my body but also my mind, sometimes I even watch Jeopardy while i am running on the treadmill, beat that old man!